|Zombies invade Rapid City|
|Sunday, 28 October 2012 16:37|
They shuffled and shambled their way through the streets of downtown Rapid City as the bravest spectators lined the streets to catch a glimpse of the undead. One former fast-food restaurant manager heroically tried to protect employees and patrons in the face of a zombie attack. Former restaurant manager James Bachand says, "I was at work here in the city and uh...I was mauled."
Zombies are opportunists, and have a very low standard of ethics. It is not uncommon for the brain-eaters to target groups of children, who might remain unaware of their savage intentions. Undead child Jason Nevin says, "We were playing outside and I just thought they were messing around but then I just got tackled and clawed."
Even in a zombie apocalypse there remains a bit of natural selection. To be fully prepared, it may be a good idea to start hitting the gym, just in case. Zombie Ben Farrell says, "The fatter they are the slower they are, they're easier to catch, you know. And there's more of 'em to eat."
Slow and meaty seems to be a common theme for victims of the undead. Zombie Eugene Farmer says, "I prefer slow people. I don't have to work so hard to eat them." Most experienced zombies agree that brains are the best part of any fresh kill. However there is some discrepancy on just what delicacy tastes like." Zombie child Jason Nevin says, "Tastes like spaghetti." Zombie Josh Gilbert says, " and Hamburgers. With some ketchup on it." Former restaurant manager James Bachand says, "Better than burgers. Better than burgers."
While most of the zombies in town today seemed friendly enough, they could be just lying in wait, and preparing for a sneak attack. Pepper Massey of the Rapid City Arts Council says, "You might want to pretend you're one of the living dead if someone by chance spots you and you feel like you're being targeted just be sensitive to that." Experts agree that the single best way to avoid a zombie attack is to blend in. Maybe develop a limp or a hunch back. Certainly don't run. Also, you'll want to stay away from cities, especially after dark. And...um...also...ok...